Breaking the Funk: Essential Steps to Cultivate New, Healthy Habits

As a licensed couples and sex therapist, I've dedicated my career to helping individuals and couples navigate through complex emotional landscapes. Today, I want to address a common challenge many of us face: getting out of a funk and starting a healthy routine. You're not alone in this journey, and I'm here to guide you with practical, straightforward steps that resonate with your life.

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Understanding the Myth of "New Year, New You"

The phrase "new year, new you" is pervasive during this time of year. But is it genuinely helpful? Transformation is a gradual process. The shift from New Year’s Eve to New Year’s Day isn’t a magic wand that reinvents us. It’s essential to understand that change is a journey, not an overnight leap. The reality is there can be a lot of shame, blame, and guilt attached to New Year's resolutions, especially when they revolve around changing one's lifestyle, like eating better, losing weight, and working out.

It's a catchy phrase, though, and it makes marketing easier, but what happens when the person can't keep the resolution? Sometimes, the feelings and emotions tied in with breaking the agreement with themselves can make it harder to make the changes when they are ready to give it a go again.

"New Year, New You" is all the rage right now but is it healthy? As a couple's therapist and mental health advocate, I don't think it is.

Setting Realistic Goals

So how do we partake in the social energy of this "New Year, New You" while keeping our mental and emotional wellbeing front and center? Well, it starts with how we approach goal setting. When embarking on a new routine, we often set rigid goals. For instance, committing to daily journal writing or hitting the gym five times a week. While these ambitions are commendable, they lack flexibility. Life is unpredictable, and rigid goals can lead to unnecessary pressure and disappointment.

It's important we understand our current mindset and approach lifestyle changes and resolutions with grace and that means staying clear of absolute goals. Imagine setting a goal to write daily in your journal and missing a day in the first week. Does that mean you should give up entirely? Similarly, what if illness prevents you from going to the gym? It's crucial to avoid the "all or nothing" mindset. Allow your goals to adapt to life’s ebb and flow. Instead of rigid goals, try softer, more adaptable ones. For example, aim to write in your journal "as much as possible." This approach reduces pressure and opens up space for grace and self-compassion.

Maintaining Momentum without Overwhelming Yourself

You might wonder how to stay motivated without imposing strict goals. The key is to acknowledge that change occurs in small steps. If you haven’t been to the gym in months, expecting yourself to start going daily from January 1st is unrealistic. Begin with a manageable goal, like visiting the gym once a week. Focus on the process – wear your workout clothes, drive to the gym, familiarize yourself with the equipment. It’s about creating a routine, not pushing your limits from day one.

Remember, you have the power to define your goals. What's crucial is taking small, consistent steps and allowing yourself the flexibility to adjust your goals as needed. If you stumble, it's okay. You have the grace to start again. Life isn't about "all or nothing"; it's about progress, no matter how small.

Empower yourself by creating a routine that is centered on your emotional and. mental wellbeing

Now, let’s dive into the practical aspects of establishing a new routine to lift you out of a funk.

6 Steps to Implementing Your New Routine

Step #1 Identify Your Why

Understanding why you want to change is crucial. Is it to feel healthier? To manage stress better? Your "why" will be your anchor, keeping you motivated even on tough days.

Step #2 Break Down Your Goals

Start by breaking your goals into small, achievable tasks. If your goal is to exercise more, start with something as simple as a 10-minute walk each day. Small successes build momentum and confidence.

Step #3 Create a Support System

Surround yourself with supportive people who respect your journey. This could be friends, family, or even an online community. Share your goals and celebrate your progress with them.

Step #4 Track Your Progress

Keep a journal or use an app to track your progress. This isn't about being perfect; it's about acknowledging your efforts and growth.

Step #5 Be Kind to Yourself

Self-compassion is vital. If you miss a day or don’t meet a goal, don’t berate yourself. Understand that setbacks are part of the journey and use them as learning experiences.

Step #6 Re-evaluate and Adjust

Regularly check in with yourself. Are your goals still relevant? Do they need tweaking? Life changes, and so should your goals.

In Conclusion

Starting a new routine to get out of a funk isn’t about drastic changes or rigid goals. It’s about small steps, flexibility, and kindness towards yourself. Remember, you are powerful and capable. Embrace your journey with an open heart and a practical mind. You've got this!

Feeling stuck in a funk? Start each day with these 10 powerful affirmations to inspire change and cultivate healthy habits.