Live Life Authentically: Owning My Story and Healing #MeToo

How I Owned My Truth

I had been watching the #MeToo movement gain traction on social media in late 2017, and on October 16, 2017, I made the decision to publicly join the movement. It was a few days before the 15th anniversary of my rape, and I still remember my hands trembling as I hit the ‘post’ button. If you’d like to see it, my original post is here.

I didn’t go into great detail in that first post, but I said enough…

“Me too...
This Thursday marks 15 years to the day that my life was forever changed by the evil actions of one person intent on sexual violence. I am not a victim, but rather I like to think I am a survivor and I’m living my best life!
I have watched all of the #metoo statuses on Facebook of you who are so bravely sharing, and I couldn’t stay silent about my own reality. I don’t hide what happened to me, and I want to use my experiences to help others.
You’re never alone! #metoo”

I wasn’t sure what would happen next… I felt a surge of adrenaline coursing through me, and I knew that I felt different or changed or a little more healed after posting it. I had spent the past 15 years on a journey of healing and reclaiming my life, and it felt so incredibly powerful to share my truth. Honestly, the freedom I felt in that moment is hard to put into words. The fear, worry and anxiety I had been feeling, suddenly seemed much more dull and less intense. It was like I reintegrated with myself and reconnected to my own power.

Do you have a #metoo story? Please know you are never alone. Know there is a freedom in telling your story, to owning your truth, and healing often begins once you let go and take back the control. I found strength once I told my story. I hope you do, too #MeToo #Abuse #SexualAbuse #Survivor #MeTooStories #OwnYourTruth #Courage #NeverAlone #StrongerTogether

Gazelle Magazine Project

A few months after I first shared my story on Facebook, my good friend Cillah Hall with Gazelle Magazine put a request on social media asking if anyone was interested in sharing their story publicly. It would be featured in the March 2018 #MeToo Women’s History Month Special Edition of the magazine . I thought about it all afternoon in my therapy office, and after some anxiety induced tears, I decided this was a platform that would allow me to continue my own healing as well as a way to reach more people and to bring more awareness and healing to those who need it. I sent Cillah a message and told her I was nervous but ready to share it all.

At first, we were each going to submit a written account of our stories for the article. Well, what started as us sharing the long version of our stories in a written format, quickly morphed into a whole media project. We were still going to be sharing the written stories in the magazine, but we were also going to take part in a documentary pilot episode for Gazelle Life TV. Our media day was set up for January 28, 2018, and we had a call time of 10 A.M. to begin filming. I could barely sleep the night before, but I wasn’t scared, nervous or anxious about it. I was just ready.

We joined together, and told our stories powerfully. It was such an amazing day of healing, and I’m so grateful for the courage, bravery, vulnerability and authenticity of these amazing women. There really is power in numbers, and connecting with others who understand your story can be a powerful part of healing! #MeToo #Abuse #SexualAbuse #Survivor #MeTooStories #OwnYourTruth #Courage #NeverAlone #StrongerTogether

I had no idea just how much healing would come from this media project and months that followed. I felt like it catapulted my own healing into a whole other dimension, and that alone made it worth it! On that chilly day in January, I met and connected with 6 of the bravest most genuinely authentic and vulnerably awesome women that I have ever had the privilege of knowing. We spent the day telling our stories and sharing our truths and bonding and healing. Our stories are all very different, but yet there are so many similarities in our journeys. It felt like I was spending the day with 6 other women who I had known my whole life. They got me. Like, really got me, on a deeper level than I had experienced prior to that day. I don’t want to speak for them, but I truly believe we were all changed people as we wrapped up.

The video documentary project and the article launched officially on March 2, 2018, and it’s hard to believe that it has been just over almost 2 years since the project went public. It is now, and will always be, one of the projects that I am so proud of myself for taking part in and representing my truth. I feel so grateful, honored and privileged that I was given an opportunity and a platform to share my story along with the 6 other amazing women who took part.

If you’d like to read more about the Gazelle Magazine project or read the original article, you can find it in this link.

Outpouring of Support

I started receiving so many messages and comments from so many people. Many reached out to offer support, but so many more reached out to share that they too had experienced their own harassment, assault, violence, or rape. It became very clear very quickly that I was not alone. More than that, it showed me how much of a need there was (and still is) for others to know they were not alone and we are much stronger together!

It felt so empowering to take my own power back in such a public way. I had never exactly hidden what happened to me, but I had also never been quite so directly open about it either. My original reason for becoming a therapist was to be able to help others heal and reclaim their lives after going through something horrific. If sharing my story publicly was a way to help more people reclaim their lives, it was totally worth it!

A Powerful Movement

What started as a movement on social media, has become regular part of our national conversation. It may have started with celebrities telling their stories, but it has turned into so much more. We know that 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men will experience abuse, rape, assault or sexual violence in their lifetimes. These numbers are staggering to imagine, and it doesn’t just happen to celebrities in Hollywood. It happens to real everyday people, and everyone deserves a chance to tell their story and to pursue their own healing.

This movement has taken the topics of abuse and assault and brought them into the light. No longer does suffering have to occur in isolation. The #MeToo movement has allowed these conversations to occur in a very public way, and topics that were previously under-recognized and often dismissed or minimized, are now being validated and heard and understood.

Do you have a story? Are you ready to start healing and to take back control and own your truth? Being a survivor of abuse is something no one should have to endure but if you have, know you are not alone. #MeToo #Abuse #SexualAbuse #Survivor #MeTooStories #OwnYourTruth #Courage #NeverAlone #StrongerTogether

Power In Numbers

This movement has shown the true power in numbers. When we are willing to share our truths and stand up with others doing the same thing, it’s a powerful force to be reckoned with. We saw that when one person feels empowered to step out of the shadow of their struggle, others will benefit from hearing their story. Over the past 2 years, I have been truly touched and sometimes blown away by the number of people who have simply thanked me for sharing because they now feel less alone.

Feeling disconnected, lost or unable to connect to others are just a few of the struggles that stand in the way of healing from trauma, but now, thanks to the #MeToo movement, no one has to feel alone or like they have no one on their side. We are #StrongerTogether and I will continue to share my story as a way to empower others to know that suffering in silence is not necessary and healing is possible. You are #NeverAlone

My Journey of Healing

My journey of healing has been a process. And, it is most definitely not a linear process… There is no way to justify or make sense of what I went through, but I have chosen to use my story as a way to help others and that has allowed me to find meaning in what happened. I’m a believer we get to choose how we react to everything, and I’m choosing to be grateful for all the love and support I’ve encountered along the way.

There have definitely been many dark dark days on this journey, but there is also something very freeing and encouraging when I look back at everything I’ve gone through to get me to this point.

Therapy, life coaching, copious amounts of self-care, learning how to give myself self compassion and self-love, and learning how to stop blaming myself for what happened have all aided me along this path. Rather than viewing myself as a victim, I choose to see myself as a survivor. I know I’m not alone, and the past two years after sharing my story have shown me that in so many ways.

This is a difficult topic to talk about, and it definitely makes people feel uneasy. But, that is even more reason I feel that it’s important for me to keep sharing my truth and owning my story. Every year gets a little bit easier, and my story has less power over me. It never goes away, but I’m proud of where I am today.

Are you a part of the me too movement? Are you ready to stand up and share your story? I have some tips for you so you can own your truth and start healing. You are not alone. There is power in numbers. I am a survivor and here are my steps I took to get to where I am now. #MeToo #Abuse #SexualAbuse #Survivor #MeTooStories #OwnYourTruth #Courage #NeverAlone #StrongerTogether

Tips for Sharing Your Story

If you have a #MeToo story and you want to share it, I thought I’d share some tips to help you along your journey of healing.

• Start by giving yourself as much self-love and self-compassion as you can and give yourself credit for being brave and wanting to break your silence.

• Remember that what happened to you is not your fault, and you did nothing to cause it!

• Tell a close friend, relative, or trusted coach or therapist first.

  • Not everyone wants to or feels comfortable sharing this type of information publicly, and that’s ok! It still counts as sharing, even if you just tell one other person in confidence.

• Keep in mind there is no right or wrong way to share. It’s your story! You may not have had control over what happened to you, but you have all the control when it comes to what, when, where, and how you share!

• Take it at your own pace. It’s hard to reflect back on and remember such difficult details. It may not all come out at once, and that’s ok. You’ve started breaking your silence, so try to have patience as you continue to do so.

Resources That Have Helped Me

When I first began my healing journey of sharing my story, I told my very first therapist and a few trusted people in my life. I was so grateful for their support, and I was also grateful for some of the books I was able to read that helped me try to make sense of what happened to me, and I wanted to share a few of my favorites with you.

• The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse

• The Courage to Heal Workbook: A Guide for Women and Men Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse

• The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

• Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Is a Survivor of Child Sexual Abuse

Many of these book are written about child sexual abuse, but I have found that so many of the insights apply to survivors of all types of abuse. There are more resources available, and I would be happy to provide you with more, but I didn’t want to overload this blog with too many links to too many resources at once. The goal it to help you heal, not to overwhelm you.

***This post contains affiliate links, and I may receive a very small commission if you purchase through those links at no additional cost to you. Thank you for helping me out.***

RAINN

I also suggest checking out the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN). It is the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization. RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline which can be reached by calling 1-800-656-HOPE or visiting their only hotline online.rainn.org in partnership with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers across the country and operates the DoD Safe Helpline for the Department of Defense. RAINN also carries out programs to prevent sexual violence, help survivors, and ensure that perpetrators are brought to justice. It’s a great resource and has helped me quite a bit throughout my own journey.

Work with Me

If you are interested in setting up an appointment for therapy, life coaching, or consulting or if you would like more information about ways to start the process of owning your story and living your life with bravery, courage and authenticity, you can call my office directly at 314-485-9189 or feel free to send me a message. My direct email address is lindsay@lindsaywalden.com and you can also follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest for more life and relationship tips!

I will be launching a number of new workshops and coaching groups in the next few months, so there will be many ways to connect and work with me! Stay tuned for details on them coming soon!

Therapy Thoughts with Lindsay Podcast

Each new podcast episode is uploaded to my Therapy Thoughts Podcast Blog on the website Thursday afternoons at 2:00pm CST, and then it is shared to all the podcasting sites from there. It is also available on the Apple iTunes podcast site, and you can subscribe so you never miss an episode!

Last week’s episode was all about my #MeToo story, and I got super personal and talked about my own experiences and processes during my journey of healing. If you want to check it out, here is the link to Episode 9.

I really am so grateful to all of you for your continued support, and I hope you’ll tune in this Thursday for Episode 10. Remember to make sure you are following all my social media platforms so will know when each new episode is available. And, make sure you subscribe to my YouTube channel, so you will be able to watch the episodes once I have the videos ready to go!

What’s Your Word?

For the past few years, I have decided to pick a yearly theme or word/phrase as a way to guide my goal setting and vision for the next year. I start that brainstorming process in October during my reset phase, so that I have a lot of time to give it a lot of thought. I talked about the 3 R’s: Reflect, Recharge, and Reset in a blog a few weeks ago if you’d like to check it out here to learn more about what I mean by the reset phase.

My theme/word for 2018 was self-care and I spent the entire year finding ways to create, attempt, practice and establish my self-care routines. It was such a transformational year, and I loved that I had a guiding concept to keep me on track through the year.

My theme/word for 2019 is unalome. Basically it is the concept that the journey to your destination is not straight. In fact, it’s quite curvy and bumpy, but it’s all headed towards forward progress and reaching goals. I received the word unalome on a What’s Your Word? bracelet in my December CoachCrate. I love my bracelet so much, and it’s with me everyday.

In fact, I love it so much I decided I wanted to be able to make my own and offer them to others looking to create a word/phrase to guide them. I am offering a kickoff discount for anyone wanting to get their new What’s Your Word? MyIntent bracelet, necklace or keychain from me. Send me a message to my email lindsay@lindsaywalden.com and include the code: WORD2020LW to save 20% off your order. If you’d prefer to order directly from the website, you can find my shop link here and save $10 off your order!

CoachCrate

Not only did I receive my first What’s Your Word? MyIntent bracelet from my CoachCrate last December, the monthly subscription service has helped me stay regular with my self-care in so many ways. I would love to have you join me on the CoachCrate adventure. November’s theme is Vulnerability, and I cannot wait! If you want to join me, you can save money on your first order using my link and the code FIRSTBOX at checkout! I stalk my mailbox waiting it to arrive each month!