Money Talks: How to Improve Financial Communication in Your Relationship

Money is one of the big pillars that all relationships have to figure out. In many relationships, there is a common struggle: one partner feels they have to justify every purchase they make, while the other partner seems to spend freely without any need to explain. If this sounds familiar, know that you are not alone. This is a common struggle that many couples face, and it can be a source of significant stress and conflict. But, don’t worry, there are ways to navigate this terrain and build a strong, healthy relationship that is grounded in open, honest, and direct communication.

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Learn how to have a courageous conversation about money with your partner and build a stronger relationship. Discover the best ways to talk about finances and find common ground.

How Open Communication About Money Can Strengthen Your Relationship

The Unbalanced Scorecard

Firstly, I want you to try and get away from the idea that the “scorecard” must be balanced at all times. There is really truly no way to have a completely balanced 50-50 dynamic in every category all the time. Some level of flexibility is necessary when it comes to evaluating the budget in your relationship. Just because one partner spends more in one area, doesn't mean that the other partner should feel the need to "catch up" or "balance the scales." Instead, try to approach the budget as a team, working together to achieve your financial goals.

The Courageous Conversation

I always recommend that my clients schedule time to have a courageous conversation about budgeting and money. This gives both partners the opportunity to reflect on their feelings and prepare for the discussion. You might find it helpful to use my relationship communication guide to brainstorm and jot down notes in preparation for your conversation. During the conversation, be sure to practice active listening and give each partner the space to express their thoughts and feelings. This is a time to be open, honest, and vulnerable with each other, and to work together to find solutions that work for both of you.

The Percentage Breakdown

When it comes to budgeting, I believe that doing a percentage breakdown works best. Make a list of your combined monthly income and your monthly expenses. Determine what percentage each partner contributes to the shared assets, and then each partner is responsible for that percentage of the monthly bills. Although this is the fairest way I have discovered to do things, remember that there are many ways to create a budget that works for your relationship. The key is to find a method that feels fair and equitable to both partners, and that allows you to achieve your financial goals as a team.

Money is a crucial part of any relationship. Learn how to navigate this important pillar and build a strong financial foundation with your partner.

Money as a Tool (and a Weapon)

Money is essentially a tool that helps us take care of ourselves and purchase the things we need and want. However, money can also be weaponized, and communication around money can be fraught with trauma and wounds. It is not uncommon for people to have struggles with money trauma, and these struggles can be triggered when discussing money in a relationship. It is important to be aware of these potential triggers and to be prepared to address them in a compassionate and understanding way. When we use money as a tool to achieve our goals, rather than as a weapon to control or manipulate, we can build a stronger, healthier relationship.

The Current Economic Climate

Currently, we are experiencing high rates of inflation and the cost of living is significantly higher than it was just a few years ago. This can add to the stress and anxiety surrounding money. It is important to be aware of the financial health of your relationship, and to be prepared for the fact that there is no such thing as 100% financial security. Life is unpredictable, and there will always be risks involved when it comes to money. The key is to be prepared, to have open and honest communication about your finances, and to work together to achieve your financial goals. This may mean making sacrifices and compromises, but it is all worth it in the end.

When to Seek Help

If you find that you and your partner are struggling to have productive conversations about money, it may be time to seek the help of a therapist. A therapist can help you both get on the same page and learn how to discuss money in a healthy and productive way. They can also help you address any underlying issues or traumas that may be impacting your relationship with money. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness, and it can be an important step towards building a strong, healthy relationship.

I have over two decades of experience helping couples navigate relationship struggles just like what you are currently experiencing. It would be my honor to help you, too. Reach out to me and let’s see if we can get your money issues sorted out and your relationship back on track.

In conclusion, money and relationships can be a complicated mix, but with open and honest communication, and a willingness to work together, you can navigate this terrain and build a strong, healthy foundation for your relationship. Remember that you are powerful, important human beings who can do anything in this world. You are not alone, and there is a way to create a thriving and intimate relationship that is built on a strong foundation of open and honest communication. With the right tools and strategies, you can overcome any obstacle and build a relationship that is fulfilling and satisfying for both of you.

Transform your relationship with money and build a strong financial foundation in your relationship with these 10 daily affirmations.