Discover What Drives You with Cognitive Neuro Therapy
Have you ever found yourself saying yes to things that drain you, or chasing goals that leave you feeling empty? You’re not alone. So many of us are moving through life based on what we think we “should” do—without ever pausing to ask, Is this really what I want?
That internal friction—the stress, the stuckness, the quiet discontent—is often a sign that you’re living out of alignment with your core values. And until you uncover what those values are, that disconnect will keep showing up… in your relationships, your mental health, and even your physical energy levels.
That’s why inside the CNT Toolkit Sampler, there’s a powerful section called the Values & Beliefs Puzzle—a guided self-discovery process designed to help you identify what truly drives you beneath the surface. It’s not about vague affirmations or personality quizzes—it’s about getting clear on what matters most to you, based on how your brain is wired and what your life is trying to tell you.
In this post, we’re going to explore:
Why understanding your values is so crucial for emotional well-being
How your brain responds to alignment (and misalignment)
A simple, neuroscience-backed process to uncover your core values
Real-life results from clients who’ve done this work
How to use your values as a compass to make empowered, fulfilling decisions
Let’s get into it.
Before you continue….
Have you grabbed your FREE CNT Toolkit Sampler yet? It’s packed with science-backed tools designed to help you regulate emotions, manage stress, and develop deep self-awareness. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by your reactions or stuck in negative thought patterns, this toolkit will give you the proven strategies I use with clients to help them strengthen emotional neutrality, rewire unhelpful responses, and build lasting resilience. Inside, you’ll find practical exercises and guided reflections to help you navigate challenges with clarity and confidence. Enter your email below, and I’ll send it straight to your inbox!
Why Clarifying Your Values Changes Everything
At first glance, “knowing your values” might sound like a nice idea. But in the Cognitive Neuro Therapy model, we know it’s more than that—it’s a neurobiological shift.
Here’s what happens when you live out of alignment with your values:
Your amygdala (the brain’s threat center) stays on high alert. Even minor decisions can trigger stress responses.
Your prefrontal cortex—the part of your brain responsible for reasoning, decision-making, and impulse control—gets fatigued faster.
You feel stuck in “survival mode,” bouncing between people-pleasing, avoidance, or perfectionism.
But when you live in alignment with your values?
Your brain starts regulating more smoothly. Cortisol drops, and dopamine (the reward chemical) increases.
You feel clearer, calmer, and more confident—because your decisions reflect who you really are.
You stop second-guessing and start moving forward with momentum.
So when we say clarifying your values can change your life, we’re not being metaphorical. It literally changes how your brain processes experiences.
And that’s the magic of Cognitive Neuro Therapy—I help you rewire at the root, so your mental patterns and emotional responses finally make sense.
The Step-by-Step Process to Discover Your Core Values
The Values & Beliefs section of the CNT Self-Discovery Puzzle is designed to walk you through this process in a grounded, thoughtful, and science-backed way.
You don’t need to meditate on a mountain or analyze your childhood memories to figure out what drives you. This is practical and immediately useful—because your values are already showing up in your everyday decisions. You just haven’t named them yet.
Step 1: Identify Your Top Values
Prompt: “List three values that guide your daily decisions.”
Start by reflecting on what lights you up—or what really frustrates you. Our values are often revealed through what triggers strong emotion.
Common examples:
Integrity
Growth
Connection
Freedom
Creativity
Family
Impact
Step 2: Understand Why They Matter
Prompt: “What makes these values important to you?”
This part helps you connect the value to your story and lived experience. Don’t just list the value—tie it to why it matters. That’s what makes it stick.
Example: “I value creativity because when I’m not creating, I feel disconnected from myself. It’s how I process the world.”
Step 3: Reflect on Real-Life Choices
Prompt: “Describe a recent decision where one of your values played a significant role.”
This is where the clarity clicks. You’ll start to see how your values are already shaping your life—and where you might be ignoring them.
Example: “I turned down a promotion that would’ve taken time away from my kids. Choosing family over career advancement wasn’t easy—but it was aligned.”
Client Case Study: How Clarifying His Values Helped David Find Direction
Let’s bring this to life with a real example from my practice (shared with permission).
Meet David: a successful financial analyst who came to therapy feeling numb, burnt out, and vaguely dissatisfied with his life. Everything looked great on paper—but internally, something was off.
What we uncovered:
Through the Values & Beliefs section of the CNT Toolkit, David realized that two of his deepest values were creativity and impact. His job, while stable and well-paying, gave him neither. That misalignment was slowly draining him.
The breakthrough:
Instead of jumping to quit or make drastic changes, David started exploring ways to integrate more creative and meaningful work into his life. Eventually, he transitioned into a strategic role at a nonprofit—still using his financial skills, but now in service of something that aligned with his heart.
The result: His stress decreased, his energy returned, and for the first time in years, he felt on purpose.
Practical Tips for Living Out Your Values Every Day
Identifying your values is just the beginning. The real transformation happens when you use them to guide your decisions.
Here’s how to bring them to life:
1. Set Value-Based Goals
Instead of vague goals like “be more productive” or “get healthier,” try:
“Create space every week for creative expression.”
“Prioritize connection over being constantly available to everyone.”
When your goals match your values, motivation becomes natural.
2. Use Your Values as a Filter
When faced with a big decision or new opportunity, ask:
“Does this support or conflict with my values?”
“Will saying yes to this pull me closer or further from what matters most?”
This one question alone has saved clients months of indecision and stress.
3. Reflect and Recalibrate
Values aren’t static—they evolve as you do. Build in time to pause and check in:
Journaling prompt: “Am I living in alignment with my values? If not, where am I compromising—and what do I need to shift?”
Even a 5-minute check-in can reconnect you to your direction.
The Benefits: What Shifts When You Live in Alignment
Once your life and decisions are grounded in your core values, everything changes.
✅ Increased Clarity
You stop chasing what’s not meant for you—and gain a clear sense of direction.
✅ Improved Emotional Regulation
When your actions match your values, your nervous system calms down. You’re not fighting internal conflict anymore.
✅ Stronger Boundaries
You’ll naturally stop saying yes to things that don’t serve you—and protect your energy without guilt.
✅ Greater Confidence
Living authentically builds self-trust. When you know what matters, you stop needing external validation.
Final Thoughts: It’s Time to Reconnect with What Drives You
If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, unmotivated, or unsure of your next step, you don’t need more hustle. You need more alignment.
Clarifying your core values is the first step toward building a life—and a mindset—that actually supports you. And with Cognitive Neuro Therapy, you’re not just guessing or hoping for change. You’re rewiring the way your brain responds to stress, choice, and self-perception.
Inside the CNT Toolkit Sampler, you’ll find the Values & Beliefs Puzzle, plus a full set of guided tools to help you reconnect with yourself, uncover emotional patterns, and start making empowered, neuroscience-supported changes right away.
➤ Ready to get started?
Download the CNT Toolkit Sampler now and take the first step toward clarity, alignment, and a more purpose-driven life.
