Regulate Your Emotions With Cognitive Neuro Therapy

When it comes to understanding why we behave the way we do, especially in relationships, it helps to look at what’s happening in our brains. The way we feel, react, and interact with others is heavily influenced by tiny chemicals in our brains called neurotransmitters. These little messengers send signals between nerve cells, playing a big role in everything from our moods to how we respond in our relationships.

Today, we're going to break down four key neurotransmitters—serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, and GABA—and explore how they affect our emotions and relationships. We’ll also dive into how Cognitive Neuro Therapy (CNT) can help couples, like Brandon and Kelly, manage their emotional responses better and build a stronger, healthier connection.

Have you gotten my FREE Relationship Communication Guide yet? Start building an authentic, conscious, and thriving relationship with your partner TODAY. Say goodbye to misunderstandings, conflicts, and missed opportunities and dive in and learn how to communicate better for a deeper connection. These are the same tips and practical advice I give to my clients every day. With this guide, you'll be equipped to navigate any communication challenge and build a strong and fulfilling bond with your partner. Click the button below to enter your email address and I will send the guide to your inbox right away!

Get Your Free Relationship Guide Now

What Are Neurotransmitters and Why Do They Matter?

Neurotransmitters are chemicals that help our brain cells communicate with each other. They’re like text messages between neurons, helping to pass along important information about how we’re feeling, what we’re thinking, and how we’re reacting to things around us.

Understanding these neurotransmitters can help us see why we might feel a certain way during an argument or why we react a certain way when we’re stressed. Let’s break down the four main neurotransmitters that play a crucial role in our emotions and relationships.

1. Serotonin: The “Feel-Good” Chemical

Serotonin is often called the “feel-good” neurotransmitter because it helps regulate our mood, sleep, and overall sense of well-being. When our serotonin levels are balanced, we feel calm, happy, and less likely to get upset over small things.

But when serotonin levels are low, it can lead to irritability, mood swings, and even depression. In a relationship, this can cause misunderstandings. For example, if one partner is feeling low on serotonin, they might be more prone to snapping at the other or misinterpreting something innocent as a personal attack. This can quickly lead to conflicts that might not have happened if both partners were feeling more balanced.

2. Dopamine: The Motivation and Reward Chemical

Dopamine is all about motivation, pleasure, and reward. It’s the neurotransmitter that makes us feel good when we accomplish something or when we’re recognized for doing something well. In relationships, dopamine helps us stay engaged and motivated to do things that make our partner happy and keep the relationship strong.

When dopamine levels are balanced, we’re more likely to stay positive and put effort into maintaining our relationships. However, if dopamine is low, we might feel unmotivated or disengaged, leading to a lack of effort in the relationship. This can cause one partner to feel neglected or unloved, sparking more misunderstandings and conflicts.

Think of dopamine as the WD-40 for the brain—it helps things move much more easily and effectively without as much resistance.

Discover how your brain chemicals can affect your relationship and what you can do about it. Learn simple, practical ways to improve communication and emotional connection with your partner by understanding how neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine influence your mood and behavior.

3. Norepinephrine: The Stress Responder

Norepinephrine is linked to our body’s fight-or-flight response. It’s what gets released when we’re stressed, helping us to react quickly in dangerous situations. However, in everyday life, especially in relationships, too much norepinephrine can lead to anxiety and an overactive stress response.

When we’re constantly in a state of high stress, our bodies are flooded with norepinephrine, making us more likely to overreact to small issues. This can cause unnecessary arguments and make it harder to resolve conflicts calmly.

4. GABA: The Calming Agent

GABA is like the brain’s natural calming agent. It helps slow down the nervous system and reduce feelings of anxiety and stress. In relationships, GABA is crucial for helping us stay calm and collected, even during tough conversations.

If our GABA levels are low, we might struggle with emotional regulation, meaning we’re more likely to get upset quickly or have a hard time calming down after an argument. This can make it difficult to maintain a healthy, stable relationship.

Your brain chemicals play a crucial role in your emotions and relationships. Discover how understanding them can help you build a healthier, happier connection with your partner. Learn more in our latest blog post.

How Cognitive Neuro Therapy (CNT) Helps Couples Like Brandon and Kelly

Cognitive Neuro Therapy is a powerful approach that helps couples understand the role these neurotransmitters play in their relationship dynamics. Let’s look at how this works with a real-life example.

Brandon and Kelly often found themselves stuck in a cycle of reactive behaviors. Kelly, who dealt with anxiety (likely due to low serotonin or high norepinephrine), would sometimes misinterpret Brandon’s neutral or distracted responses as indifference. This would trigger her to seek reassurance from Brandon, who might already be stressed out himself. This cycle often led to miscommunication and emotional blow-ups.

Through CNT, they learned to recognize how their brain chemistry was influencing their interactions. They discovered that by increasing their serotonin levels through simple activities like mindfulness exercises and spending time in natural sunlight, they could help regulate their moods better.

Kelly started incorporating GABA-promoting activities, like deep breathing exercises and yoga, into her routine. These activities helped her calm her nervous system, making it easier for her to approach conversations with Brandon in a more relaxed and neutral way.

Meanwhile, Brandon learned how to engage his dopamine system positively. He started practicing relationship gratitude, where he’d regularly express appreciation for Kelly and their relationship. This small change helped keep his dopamine levels balanced, making him more motivated to stay engaged in the relationship and support Kelly.

The Power of Emotional Neutrality

One of the core principles of CNT is emotional neutrality. This doesn’t mean becoming emotionless; rather, it’s about maintaining a level of emotional distance that allows you to observe your feelings without immediately reacting to them. This helps couples have more objective, calm conversations, reducing the chances of misunderstandings.

For Brandon and Kelly, practicing emotional neutrality meant they could approach tough conversations without immediately jumping to conclusions or reacting defensively. They found that by creating a space of calm, they could discuss their issues more openly and find solutions together.

Rewiring Your Relationship

By understanding the role of neurotransmitters in your emotions and using techniques from Cognitive Neuro Therapy, you can start to take control of your relationship dynamics. Whether it’s boosting serotonin to feel more connected, balancing dopamine to stay engaged, or using GABA to stay calm, these small changes can make a big difference.

Just like Brandon and Kelly, you too can learn to recognize and manage your neurochemical states. This understanding can help you break free from cycles of misunderstanding and build a deeper, more connected relationship with your partner. So why not take the first step toward a healthier relationship today? Book a free 15 call with me to see if Cognitive Neuro Therapy is right for you.