Live Life Authentically: National Coming Out Day
National Coming Out Day
Last Friday, October 11 is a super important day in my own life as well as so many others. October 11 is National Coming Out Day, and I was able to share my coming out story publicly for the 3rd time. It took me 32 years to fully own my own truth and share it with the world, and the freedom that has come from living my life authentically is almost hard to put into words, but I’ve never been happier.
I officially came out publicly on National Coming Out Day 3 years ago on my personal Facebook wall, and the post can be found here if you’d like to see it. The process of coming out took a lot of soul searching, honesty, bravery, courage, and willingness to push past my own fears and worries. I have continued to share my own story each year on National Coming Out Day because I want to be able to use my story to show others that it is possible to own your truth no matter how long you’ve been hiding it or running from it.
Are you thinking about sharing your story for National Coming Out Day? Are you not sure if you are ready yet and are looking for tips and inspiration? I share my story every year in hopes of helping others so they can start living authentically. #LGBT #LGBTComingOut #NationalComingOutDay #ComingOut #ShareYourTruth
Why It Matters
National Coming Out Day can be a light in dark tunnel for someone trying to figure out how to come out or how to own and share their truth. As a therapist, specifically a sex therapist, I have worked with so many clients throughout the years that are struggling to understand their own sexual identity as well as how to best share it with and explain it to the people in their lives. It is not uncommon for those going through this process to feel alone and like no one understands them. Not only that, there is also a lot of fear and worry that is involved in the process.
Here are just a few of the worries that surface during the coming out process:
Worries that they won’t be accepted…
Worries their family will shun them in some way…
Worries about what it means for their spirituality/religion…
Worries they will lose friends, family or others that are important to them…
Worries they will not be able to find a partner/significant other to spend their life with…
Worries about their employment…
Worries about feeling ostracized for being who they are…
Worries about the threat of violence for living authentically…
Worries they will encounter discrimination…
I know there are others I’m leaving out, but you get the idea. Many of these worries are real fears and concerns that are not unfounded and will often present themselves when someone is going through the process of coming out. One of the wonderful things about the internet, is the ability to connect with likeminded people. The isolation that can come from identifying as a part of the LGBT community can be a very scary reality for some.
No matter the worries or fears that may come up, the freedom that comes from coming out and living authentically is usually considered to be worth it. Social media has a lot of negative aspects, but is also a place to find acceptance, understanding and belonging. Not everyone is ready to own their story publicly, but being able to see the bravery of others that share their story on National Coming Out Day can help with the feelings of isolation or worries that no one will understand them.
Tips for Coming Out
Everyone has to figure out when it is right for them to come out. There is no one right way to do it, and it is a process. Instead of thinking about it as one moment in time, think of it as a process. It takes time to understand yourself fully, and there is no reason to rush things.
Are you looking for some tips and inspiration so you can feel comfortable coming out? You deserve to live your truth and to be who you truly are. You are enough. I have some ideas that might help you along your journey so you can start living your best life. #LGBT #LGBTComingOut #NationalComingOutDay #ComingOut #ShareYourTruth
The It Gets Better Project has 8 tips for coming out, and I think they are worth sharing:
Come out if you think you’re safe. If you’re at all worried for your safety, ask someone you trust for help.
Do it when you’re ready, not when others want you to be.
Tell your closest loved ones first. Their support will give you the strength to tell others. Baby steps are okay!
Practice in the mirror.
There are people that will support you. Don’t worry about the ones that don’t.
Don’t let anyone tell you being different is wrong.
Be strong. You’re brave and wonderful the way you are.
Coming out isn’t mandatory, but find ways to affirm your self-worth
Why I Will Always Share
I can remember watching year after year on social media as people would come out or share their coming out story on National Coming Out Day. Every time I would read a post, it would help me to understand myself more fully or it would give me more confidence in myself and my truth. When I finally broke my own silence and shared my story, I was amazed at how freeing of an experience it was. In addition, I had been so worried about the reception I would receive from those in my life, but I was pleasantly surprised by how much love and acceptance I received.
Even this year, I had momentary doubts about posting my story. The inner thoughts of overthinking got in the way a bit. I found myself pondering, “Who cares about my story”, “Why should I keep sharing” and “Isn’t it overkill to share again and again…” I knew it was important to share for the same reasons it was so important for me to see others share all the years before I felt ready to do so.
There is a healing power in connection, and I will continue to use my story to help inspire others to live their best life. I will also continue to be a resource and a safe person to talk to about the whole process. Coming out is a process. It’s not straightforward, and it takes times to fully figure out the best way to do it.
Remember to give yourself as much self-love and self-compassion as you can. You are enough just as you are!
Are you wondering if coming out is worth it? Are you afraid you won't be accepted for who you are? There are lots of reasons why you might be fearful of coming out but once you do, you may find it very freeing. To know who you really are and to speak your truth means you can then find those that love you for who you are. #LGBT #LGBTComingOut #NationalComingOutDay #ComingOut #ShareYourTruth
Work with Me
If you are interested in setting up an appointment for therapy, life coaching, or consulting or if you would like more information about ways to start the process of owning your story and living your life with bravery, courage and authenticity, you can call my office directly at 314-485-9189 or feel free to send me a message. My direct email address is lindsay@lindsaywalden.com and you can also follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest for more life and relationship tips!
I will be launching a number of new workshops and coaching groups in the next few months, so there will be many ways to connect and work with me! Stay tuned for details on them coming soon!
Therapy Thoughts with Lindsay Podcast
Each new podcast episode is uploaded to my Therapy Thoughts Podcast Blog on the website Thursday afternoons at 2:00pm CST, and then it is shared to all the podcasting sites from there. It is also available on the Apple iTunes podcast site, and you can subscribe so you never miss an episode!
Last week’s episode was all about National Coming Out Day, and I got super personal and talked about my own experiences and processes in my own coming out story as well as so funny stories of things that happened along the way. If you want to check it out, here is the link to Episode 8.
I really am so grateful to all of you for your continued support, and I hope you’ll tune in this Thursday for Episode 9. Remember to make sure you are following all my social media platforms so will know when each new episode is available. And, make sure you subscribe to my YouTube channel, so you will be able to watch the episodes once I have the videos ready to go!
What’s Your Word?
For the past few years, I have decided to pick a yearly theme or word/phrase as a way to guide my goal setting and vision for the next year. I start that brainstorming process in October during my reset phase, so that I have a lot of time to give it a lot of thought.
My theme/word for 2018 was self-care and I spent the entire year finding ways to create, attempt, practice and establish my self-care routines. It was such a transformational year, and I loved that I had a guiding concept to keep my on track through the year.
My theme/word for 2019 is unalome. Basically it is the concept that the journey to your destination is not straight. In fact, it’s quite curvy and bumpy, but it’s all headed towards forward progress and reaching goals. I received the word unalome on a What’s Your Word? bracelet in my December CoachCrate. I love my bracelet so much, and it’s with me everyday.
In fact, I love it so much I decided I wanted to be able to make my own and offer them to others looking to create a word/phrase to guide them. I am offering a kickoff discount for anyone wanting to get their new What’s Your Word? MyIntent bracelet, necklace or keychain from me. Send me a message to my email lindsay@lindsaywalden.com and include the code: WORD2020LW to save 20% off your order. If you’d prefer to order directly from the website, you can find my shop link here and save $10 off your order!
CoachCrate
Not only did I receive my first What’s Your Word? MyIntent bracelet from my CoachCrate last December, the monthly subscription service has helped me stay regular with my self-care in so many ways. I would love to have you join me on the CoachCrate adventure. November’s theme is Vulnerability, and I cannot wait! If you want to join me, you can save money on your first order using my link and the code FIRSTBOX at checkout! I stalk my mailbox waiting it to arrive each month!
