Rekindling the Halloween Spirit and Finding New Traditions as Adults

Halloween. For many of us, it evokes fond memories of carving pumpkins, dressing up in our favorite costumes, and collecting candy as kids. As parents, we relive those joys vicariously through our children, watching their eyes light up as they become pirates, princesses, or superheroes for a night. But what happens when those children grow up and our usual traditions fade away? Can we find new ways to celebrate Halloween, even as our kids leave the nest?

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Redefining Halloween as Empty Nesters

First, I want to tell you that it’s very normal to have nostalgia during the holiday season, especially as you look back and remember all of those fun times you had with your kids as they were growing up. There's comfort in those memories, and the yearning you feel to relive those moments is perfectly natural.

However, as life evolves, so too do our roles and needs. It's now time to redefine what Halloween means for you as an adult, and how you can celebrate it with your partner now that the kids are grown.

Looking for ways adults can celebrate Halloween sans kids? Dive into our blog for some spook-tacular ideas! 🎃🍷

Need some inspiration or ideas for what you want to do this year?

Check out this fun list of 10 Halloween-inspired Date Night ideas:

1. Movie Marathon Night: Curate a list of your all-time favorite Halloween movies and have a binge-watching evening, complete with themed snacks.

2. Costume Dinner Party: Invite a few close friends over for a themed costume dinner. Enjoy the fun of dressing up without the hustle and bustle of larger events.

3. Haunted House Tour: Take a spooky adventure by visiting a local haunted house or attending a ghost walk.

4. Themed Tastings: Check out local wineries or breweries for any Halloween-themed tastings or events they might be offering.

5. DIY Decor Crafting: Spend an afternoon together creating DIY Halloween decorations. It’s a fun way to bond and decorate your home at the same time.

6. Pumpkin Carving Date: Get two pumpkins and have a carving competition. Later, light them up and enjoy their glow over a candlelit dinner.

7. Storytelling Evening: Share ghost stories or recount personal Halloween memories from when you were kids or when your children were younger.

8. Cook a Halloween Feast: Whip up some traditional (and some new) Halloween treats. Think pumpkin soup, candied apples, or even skeleton-themed pastries.

9. Attend a Local Halloween Event: Many towns have local parades, festivals, or theater shows centered around Halloween. It's a great way to participate in community activities.

10. Take a Night Walk: Enjoy the crisp autumn air and take a stroll, admiring the Halloween decorations in your neighborhood.

Navigating this new phase of life and redefining traditions can feel a bit awkward. It was so easy when you were doing this for your kids. Now it's your turn and that might feel like a lot. It's not just about what you want; it's also about aligning with your partner's desires and finding mutual ground. How do you figure out what your heart longs for this Halloween? And once you do, how do you communicate that to your partner, especially if they have a different vision in mind? Don't fret! Here's a simple guide to help you bridge that gap and find your ideal Halloween celebration as a duo.

Not sure how to discuss Halloween plans with your loved one? Get tips on clear, loving communication in our new post! ❤️🎃

A Guide to Crafting Your Perfect Halloween and Discussing It with Your Partner

1. Self-Reflection: What are your Halloween Desires?

Visualize: Close your eyes and picture your ideal Halloween. What are you doing? Who are you with? How do you feel?

Create a List: Jot down all the activities that bring you joy during this season – from pumpkin carving to watching horror movies, attending parties, or making spooky crafts.

Prioritize: Out of your list, pick the top three things you’d really love to experience this year.

2. Understand Your Partner's Perspective

Empathize: Remember that your partner might have their own vision or might not feel the same nostalgia. Be prepared for a difference in enthusiasm or idea.

Ask Questions: Before sharing your thoughts, ask them about their own Halloween feelings and desires. How do you feel about Halloween this year? Is there something specific you'd like to do?

3. Choose the Right Setting

Timing: Choose a time when both of you aren't stressed or distracted.

Setting: Opt for a comfortable place, free from interruptions. This can be during a quiet dinner at home or while taking an evening walk.

4. Communicate Your Desires and Have a Courageous Conversation

Be Honest: Express your feelings without being confrontational. I've been thinking a lot about Halloween and how I'd like to celebrate it this year. I've realized that I really miss [specific activity].

Use 'I' Statements: This ensures you're expressing your feelings without blaming or accusing. I feel nostalgic about... instead of You never want to...

Offer Compromise: Maybe there's a way to combine both your desires. If you want a quiet night in and they want to go out, maybe you can host a small get-together or attend an early event and then spend the rest of the evening at home.

5. Practice Active Listening

Engage Fully: Listen to what your partner has to say without interrupting. Hear them out and listen with the intent to understand, not just to respond. Remember, your expectations are yours alone, they very well might have different ones. It's through active listening that you can find common ground.

Seek Understanding: Ask follow-up questions if you're unclear about their feelings or desires. Stay curious and open to different variations of how you originally planned on experiencing the holiday.

For more on how to practice Active Listening in your relationships, check out this blog post that has videos where I go deep into this super important skillset.

6. Co-create a Plan

Blend Ideas: Find ways to incorporate elements from both of your desires. This might mean alternating plans each year or combining activities. It also might be compromising.

Stay Flexible: Sometimes, it's okay to go with the flow or make last-minute changes. The key is to ensure both of you feel heard and valued.

7. Celebrate Together!

Once you've reached a consensus, dive into the preparations together. Whether it's decorating the house, picking out costumes, or watching a spooky movie, enjoy each moment as a shared experience.

Whatever you choose to do, the most important thing is the open communication that leads you to your decision. That's where the magic of relationships happens. The above guide will help you get started but if you need more exercises and support to help you navigate the situation and these types of conversations, check out my free Relationship Communication Guide. Use the brainstorming questions in the guide to help you articulate your feelings and desires. They're designed to help you find the words, and approach the topic with clarity and compassion.

Holidays evolve as we do, and it's okay to feel a bit lost as traditions change. But with open, honest communication, you and your partner can forge new memories and find joy in celebrating Halloween in a way that's meaningful to both of you. Remember, every phase of life has its magic. Embrace the present, and let the spirit of Halloween remind you of the beauty in change.

Navigate life's changes and strengthen your connections with these empowering daily affirmations. Perfect for anyone looking to embrace new chapters, celebrate evolving traditions, and deepen relationships. Click to find your daily dose of inspiration!