Couples Therapy and The 5 Love Languages: Words of Affirmation

After a much needed break last week, I’m ready to jump back into my series of blog posts all about The 5 Love Languages written by Gary Chapman. First I discussed the importance of Quality Time in relationships, then I moved on to Acts of Service, and the post on Gifts was 2 weeks ago. This week is all about Words of Affirmation, and next week I’ll be ending this series by discussing Physical Touch.

If you are still needing to take the online Love Languages Quiz, I really do recommend taking a few minutes to do so in order to see which Love Languages work best for you in your relationships so you can know how you best give and receive love.

Ok, so let’s talk a bit about Words of Affirmation.

Words of Affirmation can be a great way to show your partner you love and care about them. The key with this love language is to use your words, but I do encourage finding a variety of ways to do so. Of course it’s great to stick with the basics of saying, “I love you”, but this is where I like to challenge my clients in couples therapy to dig deeper. I’m wanting you to start thinking of the different ways to use your words to send a loving message.

Here is an example that may help you see what I mean. Maybe you best receive love through Acts of Service, and your partner receives love through Words of Affirmation. After a long day at work, you come home to find they have cooked your favorite dinner. It’s great to just say, “Thank you”, but how else could you send that message? One idea is to write them a quick thank you note and leave it by their side of the bed or on the seat of their car, so they are sure to see it. You could also send them a quick text the next day thanking them again for their thoughtfulness in cooking for you after a long day.

A quick text to let them know you are thinking about them can bring a smile to the face of the one you love.

Another idea is to buy a small magnetic dry erase board to put on the refrigerator. Use the board to write messages to your sweetheart from time to time. It may not be a daily occurence, but it’s a simple way to remind yourself to use your words to let them know how much you care. If you struggle to come up with the right words to say, this doesn’t have to stop you from using Words of Affirmation in your relationship. Why not pick out a greeting card that says what you are thinking. This is actually a way to combine the love languages of Gifts and Words of Affirmation, and if you’ve been following along with my previous blog posts, you know I love finding ways to overlap the languages for more loving impact. If you don’t have the time or the money to invest in a card, you could draw a cute picture or doodle that conveys your message.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and this can definitely be true when sending a message to your significant other.

I hope I have given you some ideas of how to start implementing Words of Affirmation into your relationship. As with all the love languages, the idea is to not overthink things. The goal is to find ways to show you care in the ways your partner best receives your message of love. It may take some practice to figure out the best ways to incorporate the love languages into your relationships, which is why I encourage open honest communication about your needs and wants. We are not mind readers and we all have our own unique ways of giving and receiving love. The 5 Love Languages can help couples better understand each other and also create a deeper more meaningful connection.

If you’re interested in setting up an appointment for couples therapy or marriage counseling, or if you would like more information about The 5 Love Languages and ways to implement them into your life and relationship, you can call my office directly at 314-485-9189 or feel free to send me a message. My direct email address is lindsay@lindsaywalden.com and you can also follow me on Facebook and Instagram for more life and relationship tips!