Understanding Anticipatory Grief During Times of Crisis
Live Zoom Q&A
We are going through an unprecedented time and I just want to help in whatever way I can. I have started hosting a live weekly Zoom Q&A where you can log in and interact with me directly to ask your questions and get support to help you process through these difficult times. The next meeting will at 6:00 PM CST on Thursday, April 30, and the link to log into this free Zoom discussion can be found here. I do hope you’ll join me!
If you do have questions you’d like me to answer, you can submit them by leaving a comment on this blog, send me a message directly to me by emailing me at lindsay@lindsaywalden.com or come live on Thursday and ask your question during the Zoom meeting.
Click the button below to reserve your spot and I’ll send you a reminder about the meeting to remind you earlier in day before the meeting. I would love to have you join the discussion.
I am here for you and I am holding space for you. I want you to know you are not alone, we are in this together, and we will get through this. Please join me LIVE every Thursday on Zoom for Q&A. I am also offering my Relationship Coaching Services at a special price. Let's raise each other up and get through this time of crisis. #Relationships #MentalHealth #SocialDistancing #COVID19 #WeAreInThisTogether
1:1 Coaching Appointments Now Available
I am now offering a 1:1 coaching sessions. If you would like to set up a 1:1 coaching video session to help you through this time, you can click here.
You get to decide how many minutes you’d like to purchase worth of coaching. Then, I’ll reach out to you in order to make the determination of how you’d like to use your time. We will decide how to split up your time in 30 minute increments up to the total amount you select.
Also, notice that the more time you purchase upfront, the more you save!
You can always reach me directly through my email lindsay@lindsaywalden.com if you have any questions or if you want to know if this is a good fit for you.
Relationship Communication Guide
I am receiving a lot of questions about how to maintain and manage your relationships during this pandemic and the constant togetherness. Healthy communication will really help set you up for success during this time and as we look to the future of what is coming next.
I would love for you to download my FREE Relationship Communication Guide with relationship tips, suggestions and activities you can implement into the communication in your relationship! Click the button below to get access to my Relationship Communication Guide and start improving your relationship communication today!
Anticipatory Grief
I am receiving a lot of questions about the uneasy feeling a lot of you are experiencing during this process of adjusting to so many changes at one time. It feels like a combination of anxiety, stress, worry, a lack of motivation and many other things all at one time.
What you’re experiencing is a feeling known as anticipatory grief. During times of uncertainty, you know there is a potential for things to get worse before they get better and you likely feel unable to do much to help. All of this shows up in a very special grief process, and I thought I could spend some time talking about the stages of grief and how they different stages may show up as we are all going through this process of forced changed together.
Understanding the Process of Grief
During my many years working as a therapist, I have worked frequently with clients going through the process of grief and grieving. There is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all approach to grieving, but I have seen many common themes that most people experience. I often reference the writing of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler about The 5 Stages of Grief through the books On Grief and Grieving and Live Lessons.
I want to be of service to you so I am opening up my heart and holding space for anyone that has questions, needs support, or would just like to talk about what they are currently going through and experiencing while self-isolating, social distancing, or working during the current pandemic. Read on for the Zoom link where I will be meeting every Thursday and taking questions from you. If you would like a one on one session, I am offering a very special price on my coaching services to help out during this time of financial uncertainty. #Relationships #MentalHealth #SocialDistancing #COVID19 #WeAreInThisTogether
The 5 Stages of Grief
Keep in mind theses stages do not always occur in a linear way for most people.
The 5 Stages of Grief include
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
The 6th Stage of Grief
David Kessler recently wrote a follow up book about a possible sixth stage of grief; Finding Meaning.
Remember that we are complex people with complex emotions, so it’s very natural to experience multiple feelings simultaneously. It is also possible to experience the stages more than once.
Denial
The brain doesn’t like to have to deal with difficult feelings and emotions, so it is not uncommon to experience feelings of denial when going through grief. When going through the denial stage of grieving, it is important to be understanding of yourself and where you are in your process. During this stage you may feel like you actually forget the reality of things.
Anger
The anger stage can be quite jarring and unexpected. You’re no longer in denial that a something is occurring or has occurred, but there are often many feelings of anger associated. It could be anger at the reason things have happened, anger over all the things you were not able to do or won’t be able to do, and it could even show up as anger at yourself for not having done more or not being able to stop things from happening.
Although it is normal and natural to experience feelings of anger, it is important to not stay fused with this stage. Moving through the anger takes time, and it is possible. Let yourself feel what you need to feel and know that expressing the anger is one of the best ways to move through it.
Bargaining
As your brain is trying to come to grips with what is going on and what you’re experiencing, it will try to bargain. It is still not ready to fully accept the reality of things and it is really trying to come up with any other possible outcomes. This is the stage where the “what ifs” can take over, and you’ll find yourself re-playing things over and over again. Logic has sorta taken a step out of the process and emotion has taken over.
I find it’s helpful with clients during this stage to validate how they are feeling. Allow yourself to think about the “what ifs” but also bring some logic back to the situation. Give yourself the permission to see all the sides of the situation, and work on living your best life, even if things are very different. You are adjusting to your “new normal” and that adjustment takes time.
Right now there is so much uncertainty, so much confusion, and so many feelings and emotions coming to the surface. If you have questions about how to process your experiences and would like some support through this time of social distancing, please join me every Thursday for a special LIVE Zoom meeting. #Relationships #MentalHealth #SocialDistancing #COVID19 #WeAreInThisTogether
Depression
The longer you go through the process, the more you do realize the reality of things as they are and not as you want them to be. Depression may come in waves or it may show up and take hold of you for a while. You may find yourself withdrawn and uninterested in things that once brought you joy. It could be that you experience waves of sadness or feeling very down.
Many people report a feeling of going through the motions of life, and this can go on for an extended period of time. Depression is a part of the adjustment and healing process, but much like anger, you don’t want to stay fused with it forever. If you are unable to push through the depression stage, and you do feel like you’ve become fused with it, I would suggest finding someone to talk to you about the symptoms. Yes, it is a natural part of grieving, but it is also important to make sure you are safe and taking care of yourself mentally and physically.
Acceptance
Although we may never fully get to a complete state of acceptance, at least not for a while, it is what many believe to be the final stage of grief process. The acceptance stage is not where you are ok with what happened, but you are starting to accept the new reality of going on with your life in spite of the shifts and changes.
Although there may be feelings of accepting what has happened, there will still be hard days and times when you cycle back through the other stages. You learn to live your life again, and you start to realize that your life is not over.
Change is hard, and forced changed feels almost impossible. It is possible to get through the stages into the acceptance stage, but you will need to give yourself a lot of compassion and understanding to achieve this.
Meaning
I love that Kubler-Ross and Kessler have added an addition stage to the 5 Stages of Grief. I guess now they will be called the 6 Stages of Grief, and I can’t wait to read their new book, Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. When I work with clients through grief, I often encourage them to find ways to establish meaning or to find purpose as they go through difficult times.
My advice to anyone going through the 5 Stages of Grief, or should I say the 6 Stages of Grief is to remember that time really is the great healer. No one grieves exactly like someone else, and everyone is entitled to their own process. It’s hard, it’s messy at times, but it is a necessary part of living. You will have to figure out what works best for your own process, and try to remember to be good to yourself as you shift though these stages.
Are you experiencing anger, depression, anxiety, or fear while social distancing and coronavirus? If so, know it's perfectly normal and you are not alone. What you might be experiencing is the 5 stages of grief: Grief from the physical loss of a loved one, grief from the loss of a job, from the loss of your rhythm and routine, or maybe loss of what you once knew to be true. Please join me every Thursday for a special LIVE Zoom meeting where I will take questions and help support you. I am also offering 1:1 coaching sessions at a special reduced price for those that want more one to one support. #Relationships #MentalHealth #SocialDistancing #COVID19 #WeAreInThisTogether
My FREE Relationship Communication Guide
I would still love for you to download my FREE Relationship Communication Guide with relationship tips, suggestions and activities you can implement into the communication in your relationship! Click the button below to get access to my Relationship Communication Guide and start improving your relationship communication today!
Relationship Communication Online Workshop
I have created an online Relationship Communication Workshop to help you dig into the communication struggles in your relationship and start getting things back on track. I realize that not everyone wants to go through long-term therapy or the process of getting to a therapy appointment may not fit into your busy schedule. That's why I created this course. I wanted to provide you with a way to get access to the tools my clients get from me in my practice, but you can access the material from the comfort of your own home or wherever you are.
What's Included?
You will get access to a series of videos, activities and worksheets that are designed to help you dig into the various aspects of relationship communication.
We will talk about The 5 Love Languages, The 4 Tendencies, The 4 Agreements and so much more.
I'll provide you with actionable steps you can take to implement these tools into your relationships.
The Relationship Communication Online Video Workshop is now live online. Click the button below to get access and start improving your relationship today!
Here’s the link to get more information about the workshop. You can also find it and all my courses and variety of services on my Work with Me page. I am so excited to have you take part in this course!
Coach Crate
I cannot speak highly enough about Coach Crate. This monthly subscription service has helped me stay regular with my own self-care in so many ways, and I would love to have you join me on the Coach Crate adventure. It would make a great addition to the other work you are doing to live your best life.
April will be all about Simplicity, and I feel like it’s exactly what we need right now. It feels so fitting for the current situation we are seeing in the world. You can sign up to begin with April’s Coach Crate by using my link, and you’ll get to start on the Coach Crate journey. You can save money on your first order by using the code FIRSTBOX at checkout! I stalk my mailbox waiting it to arrive each month, and I know you’ll love it as much as I do!
Therapy Thoughts with Lindsay Podcast
With everything going on in the world, we took last week off from recording to reset things a bit while we figured out how to go about recording each new podcast episode. This Thursday at 2:00 pm CST the next episode will be uploaded to my Therapy Thoughts Podcast Blog and it will also be available on the Apple iTunes podcast site. You can subscribe, so you will never miss an episode!
If you want to check out Episode 31 from a couple of weeks ago, here is the link.
I really am so grateful to all of you for your continued support as we are figuring out how to navigate things. I’m happy to report that we now have a way to upload the uncut and unedited video feed of the podcast recording to my YouTube channel, so you will want to subscribe to see the hilariousness.
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