Healing Relationship Communication: The 5 Apology Languages
Relationship Communication Guide
Looking for a way to kick start your relationship communication? I would love for you to download my FREE Relationship Communication Guide with relationship tips, suggestions and activities you can implement into the communication in your relationship! Click the button below to get access to my Relationship Communication Guide and start improving your relationship communication today!
Are you ready to up your game, improve your relationship, and overcome the usual pitfalls all the other couples fall prey to? The secret is in learning the 5 apology languages which I explain this week in my latest video. Check it out and make sure you grab your free Relationship Communication Guide.
The 5 Love Languages
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been talking about The 5 Love Languages and the ways they show up in your relationship.
If you have never taken The 5 Love Languages Quiz, I do highly recommend taking it so you can see what works best for you. Although you likely have a few ways that you enjoy giving and receiving love, the 5 different love languages are (if you click on the bullets below, it will take you to the previous blogs about each one of them):
If you would like more information about The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman’s book on The 5 Love Languages is a great resource.
***This post contains affiliate links, and I may receive a very small commission if you purchase through those links at no additional cost to you. Thank you for helping me out.***
The 5 Anger Languages
There are 5 different ways that anger can show up in your relationship. These can all show up at various times and for various reasons. You can read more about the different anger languages in the blog I wrote all about them found here. I have also included the video I recorded about them below:
All relationships encounter misunderstandings, arguments, and difficult conversations. While this is common, it doesn't mean anger, hurt feelings, frustration, and resentment have to be the end result. This is where understanding and using the 5 apology languages in your life comings into play. Check out my video where I explain what the 5 apology languages are and how you can work them into your relationships.
The 5 Apology Languages
It is important to be able to work out anger and frustration in your relationship, and it is just as important to be able to use different types of healing apology languages in your relationship. All of them play different roles and can be helpful in maintaining good relationship communication dynamics.
Expressing regret.
Focuses on the emotional hurt experienced from a person’s actions and/or behavior.
Hearing a genuine “I’m sorry” goes a long way with this one.
The person expressing regret is acknowledging they have caused hurt and/or pain.
It’s less about “fixing” anything and more about processing what occurred.
Accepting responsibility.
Requires admitting wrongdoing and accepting responsibility for it.
Can be challenging to admit mistakes.
This can be especially difficult if the mistake caused someone else harm.
Involves an apology accepting responsibility for actions and/or behavior
Justification, one of The 5 Anger Languages, for actions does not help with this.
Simply stating “I am wrong”, “That was a mistake on my part, and I’m sorry”, “I didn’t mean to harm you” or something similar without adding extra explanations or excuses is the key.
Making restitution.
Requires justification and/or some type of explanation for the wrongdoing.
There is an overlap between the apology languages and The 5 Love Languages when making restitution.
An apology shown through the love languages helps it anchor the love in your relationship in spite of the hurt.
There is assurance in knowing your partner still cares and wants to give to you in a way that helps you feel that love in the way(s) you need to feel it and respond best to.
Genuinely repenting.
Focuses on how to change or modify behavior in future similar situations.
There is a genuine apology followed by a verbal explanation of the intention to change behavior in the future.
This takes things to the next level by not only expressing that a change is wanted/needed but goals to make those changes are included.
There is a focus on looking for the ways to “fix” things so it doesn’t happen again.
Note how this is different from the expression of regret language mentioned earlier.
Requesting forgiveness.
This is about directly asking for forgiveness.
It’s important to ask and them give space for the other to think it over and decide if they are willing to forgive you.
Requesting forgiveness does not mean to demand it.
The hurt partner needs time and space to think things over after the request for forgiveness.
Demanding it takes away some of the authenticity of the forgiveness.
How do you apologize? Do you say you are sorry the same way? Did you know there might be other ways? And these other ways could help heal your relationship and get you back to healthy and thriving. This week I talk about these different ways of apologizing and how you can use them in your relationship. Check out my video and grab your FREE relationship guide while you are there!
In the video below, I dig into more detail about the different ways The 5 Apology Languages show up and some examples of how they can be healing and helpful in your relationship.
Relationship Communication Workshop Updates
I have created an online Relationship Communication Workshop to help you dig into the communication struggles in your relationship and start getting things back on track. I have had a number of participants submit reviews and suggestions of different lessons that would be a great addition to the workshop. I want this to be as helpful as possible, so I have decided to listen to the feedback and expand the course to include even more relationship guidance.
There is an entire section that will be devoted to understanding even more about the love languages. I will also be providing you with more details into how to manage them in relationships.
I realize that not everyone wants to go through long-term therapy or the process of getting to a therapy appointment may not fit into your busy schedule. That's why I created this course. I wanted to provide you with a way to get access to the tools my clients get from me in my practice, but you can access the material from the comfort of your own home or wherever you are.
Download the FREE Relationship Communication Guide by clicking the button below, and you’ll be the first to know about the relaunch of my Relationship Communication Workshop!!!
1:1 Coaching Appointments Now Available
I am now offering a 1:1 coaching sessions for individuals as well as couples. If you would like to set up a 1:1 coaching video session to help you start working on your relationship, you can click here.
You get to decide how many minutes you’d like to purchase worth of coaching. Then, I’ll reach out to you in order to make the determination of how you’d like to use your time. We will decide how to split up your time in 30-minute increments up to the total amount you select.
Also, notice that the more time you purchase upfront, the more you save!
Follow Me On Social Media
You can follow me all over social media for more life and relationship tips.
I can be found on Facebook where I do many live streams as well as post during the week.
I can be followed on Instagram and in addition to posts on my fee, I am always in my stories posting help tips, tricks and ideas.
I’m on Pinterest throughout the day posting tons of life and relationship tips!
I’ve recently started using TikTok where I post helpful videos in 60 seconds or less with info you can apply to your life immediately.
