Are You Projecting Your Feelings onto Your Partner? How to Know and What to Do About It...

Relationship Communication Guide

Looking for a way to kick start your relationship communication? I would love for you to download my FREE Relationship Communication Guide with relationship tips, suggestions and activities you can implement into the communication in your relationship! Click the button below to get access to my Relationship Communication Guide and start improving your relationship communication today!

Do you find yourself getting annoyed or feeling unsatisfied with your partner? Are you able to empathize with your partner or is the thought of that irritating to you? You might be doing something called projecting. It's a common pitfall that's damaging to relationships and totally avoidable. Find out how to stop projecting and what to do instead!

What is Projection?

Projection is a psychological defense mechanism that you may subconsciously be using in order to deal with difficult feelings or emotions. It often involves projecting your feelings or emotions onto another person, rather than admitting to or dealing with the feelings.

Psychological projection is a common experience in relationships. It can show up in a variety of ways, but essentially it means you may be feeling an emotional reaction to something on a subconscious level and then you emotionally react to the trigger by taking it out on your partner. Because it is happening subconsciously, you may not realize this is occurring. Rather than processing through the emotions and having a courageous conversation, you start to project your feelings onto your partner.

In the next section, I outline some questions you can ask yourself to determine if you are projecting your feelings onto your partner.

Are You Projecting Your Feelings onto Your Partner?

Here are some questions to ask yourself to determine if you’re projecting your feelings onto your partner:

• Do you find yourself annoyed by the little things your partner is doing?

  • If you don’t know whether you’re doing this or not, ask yourself if the thing you’re annoyed by would bother you if someone other than your partner was doing it…

• Do you never feel satisfied by the efforts of your partner?

  • Do you always find yourself focusing on where your partner falls short of your expectations versus what they do accomplish?

  • Does it feel like no matter what they do, you’re just never happy with what they do?

• Do you invalidate the concerns or emotions of your partner?

  • Do you find yourself always putting your feelings above theirs or acting like their emotions or feelings are less important or invalid?

There's a difference between projecting and having an honest conversation. Taking a step back from the situation and consciously and mindfully expressing your concerns is the way to healthy and effective communication. Learn to master this skill today!

What To Do If You’re Projecting Your Feelings onto Your Partner

• Step 1: Become aware you’re doing it

  • Awareness is the first step to help you stop projecting your feelings and with them in a healthy manner

• Step 2: Start working to heal the parts of you that are hurting

  • This could include individual or couples therapy, coaching, or consulting

  • Learn new coping strategies to handle and deal with your emotions

  • Create a “Same Team” approach to your relationship

    • This is one of many things I will teach you about in my Relationship Communication Workshop, and it’s such a helpful way to stop feeling at odds with each other.

• Step 3: Start having courageous conversations in your relationship

  • Are you saying what you mean and meaning what you say?

  • My FREE Relationship Communication Guide can help you start learning how to have courageous conversations in your relationship

    • My Relationship Communication Workshop helps take the guide and apply it step by step into your relationship.

Sometimes we get so caught up in our intense emotions that we find ourselves expressing them in a way that's hard for our partners or spouses to understand what we are really feeling. The Relationship Communication Workshop will guide you to better, healthier ways to communicate so both of you get what you need.

Relationship Communication Workshop Updates

I have created an online Relationship Communication Workshop to help you dig into the communication struggles in your relationship and start getting things back on track. During the past month, I have had a number of participants submit reviews and suggestions of different lessons that would be a great addition to the workshop. I want this to be as helpful as possible, so I have decided to listen to the feedback and expand the course to include even more relationship guidance.

I realize that not everyone wants to go through long-term therapy or the process of getting to a therapy appointment may not fit into your busy schedule. That's why I created this course. I wanted to provide you with a way to get access to the tools my clients get from me in my practice, but you can access the material from the comfort of your own home or wherever you are.

Download the FREE Relationship Communication Guide by clicking the button below, and you’ll be the first to know about the relaunch of my Relationship Communication Workshop!!!

1:1 Coaching Appointments Now Available

I am now offering a 1:1 coaching sessions for individuals as well as couples. If you would like to set up a 1:1 coaching video session to help you start working on your relationship, you can click here.

You get to decide how many minutes you’d like to purchase worth of coaching. Then, I’ll reach out to you in order to make the determination of how you’d like to use your time. We will decide how to split up your time in 30-minute increments up to the total amount you select.

Also, notice that the more time you purchase upfront, the more you save!

Follow Me On Social Media

You can follow me all over social media for more life and relationship tips.

• I can be found on Facebook where I do many live streams as well as post during the week.

• I can be followed on Instagram and in addition to posts on my fee, I am always in my stories posting help tips, tricks and ideas.

• I’m on Pinterest throughout the day posting tons of life and relationship tips!

• I’ve recently started using TikTok where I post helpful videos in 60 seconds or less with info you can apply to your life immediately.