My Relationship Communication Checklist & FREE Communication Guide
Relationship Communication Guide
Looking for a way to kick start your relationship communication? I would love for you to download my FREE Relationship Communication Guide with relationship tips, suggestions and activities you can implement into the communication in your relationship! Click the button below to get access to my Relationship Communication Guide and start healing relationship communication today!
I've got a relationship tip you must know about! It's helped so many of my clients over the last 10 years as a couples therapist and relationship coach. Not only do I have a checklist for you, but also a FREE Relationship Communication Guide. CLICK to get yours! #MarriageandRelationships #CouplesTherapy #RelationshipTip
My Relationship Checklist
There are 3 questions you need to ask yourself when communicating, and this checklist can help eliminate so many communication struggles. I explain this checklist to pretty much all my couples therapy and relationship coaching clients at this point due to how effective it is, and I hope you’ll find it useful in your life too!
Does it need to be said?
Does it need to be said now?
Does it need to be said by me?
Fix Relationship Communication
Do you ever stop and think about the process of communication in your life? What would it be like to use these 3 questions as a sort of “mental speed bump” to slow things down when communicating. Rather than just reacting emotionally or saying the first thing that pops into your mind, I encourage you to pause and ask yourself those 3 questions.
One of my goals as a couples therapist and relationship coach is to help people slow their reactions down and think about how they want to respond to situations. As I started to share my relationship checklist with my clients, I could tell I was on to something. People were reporting success in using the checklist, and countless clients were coming back to share their success after using this tool in their romantic relationships as well as other areas of their lives.
I had figured out a way to get couples to stop and think before they speak! So I kept implementing my Relationship Communication Checklist with the couples I was working with in therapy and coaching, and it was continuing to help people learn to slow their reactions down so they could respond more thoughtfully to their partners. It has been almost 10 years since I implemented this relationship checklist into my practice, and I have yet to have it not be helpful.
Are you wondering if there's a better way to communicate with your spouse? Are you thinking there has to be a way for us to get along and not always be bickering and fighting with each other. I have a very handy checklist for you to check out PLUS a FREE guide that I think will help you get a back on track to a healthy relationship. #MarriageandRelationships #Husband #RelationshipTip
How to Use My Relationship Checklist
I wonder how this Relationship Checklist could help in your relationships? So often, you may feel annoyed or frustrated or angry, and you just react to your significant other or other people in your life in ways that may not be so helpful. I would like to take a minute to look at each of the questions included in my Relationship Communication Checklist, so you can understand a bit more about why it is so effective for improving communication dynamics in relationships.
Does it need to be said?
How often do you say things without thinking about whether or not it even needs to be said? I’ll give you an example of what I mean. I was working with a couple a few years back that was always arguing about where to park when they would go somewhere. He would pull into the first parking spot he could find, and be done with it. Without fail, as they would be walking into where they were going, she would point out all of the other spots that were closer to the entrance.
Yes, there were closer spots, but did that really need to be said? I asked her to think about why she was always pointing this out to him, as it always led to an argument. It took a little while to figure it out, but ultimately she was able to articulate that it felt like he was not being considerate to her by parking further away than necessary and making her walk a longer distance.
Rather than passive aggressively pointing out the closer parking spots, she really needed to be communicating her feelings using and “I-statement”. If you don’t know what I mean by an “I-statement”, I would suggest you click the button below to download my FREE Relationship Communication Guide where I talk all about the importance of “I-statements”, how to use them and the reasons they are so effective in helping change the communication dynamic in relationships.
Does it need to be said now?
Just because you think of something that needs to be said, does that automatically mean it should be spoken the moment you think it? Another example from my practice comes to mind. A couple I was working with kept arguing over household chores, and resentment was building. One night they came in to session, and she said, “I’m just so sick of not being appreciated for all the hard work I do around the house.” With a bit of digging we were able to figure out why these feelings of not being appreciated were coming up so frequently.
When her partner would get home from work, she was hoping he would notice the clean dishes or laundry that was put away. Instead, he would start asking about the things she didn’t get to on the to-do list yet. His intention was not to make her feel unappreciated, but that was exactly how she was feeling. By having him stop and think about what he was going to say, it allowed him to determine what needed to be communicated immediately and what could wait until later.
In fact, by just changing his approach to first focus on what had been accomplished, she started to feel like he was seeing her efforts. After the grateful response for what has been accomplished, it was much easier for them to discuss what had not yet been accomplished without feeling like that was all that was being noticed.
Does it need to be said by me?
Maybe you have determined that something needs to be said, but the next step is to evaluate if it actually needs to be said by you or not. I worked with a couple that approached time management quite differently. She was always running late, and he was always early. It got to where every morning while getting ready for work, they would get into a fight. She felt like he was micromanaging her process of getting ready, and she felt like it was actually making her later than usual because of the added stress.
When I asked why he was so involved in her morning activities, he said, “because I don’t want her to be late for work and get in trouble at her job…” This made a lot of sense to me, and she understood he was trying to help. However, in this instance, he was not the one who needed to be saying these things to her. He agreed to let her process be her own, and he took a step back from trying to manage her time for her.
Just a few weeks after they figured out a way to change this element of their communication, her boss approached her one morning to talk about her punctuality. She came in for an individual therapy session to discuss how to get better about being on time. By her husband taking a step back, some natural consequences occurred in her workplace, and she took over the process of managing her time better.
So many times in relationships and love, miscommunication happens because one or all involved aren't communicating in a way for the other one to understand. I use a very easy checklist with my clients and they all say it's quite successful. I think you find it useful, too! I've also included a FREE GUIDE. Check it out! #RelationshipStruggles #CouplesTherapy #RelationshipTip
My FREE Relationship Communication Guide
I would love for you to download my FREE Relationship Communication Guide with tips, suggestions and activities you can implement into the communication in your relationship! In the guide, I expand on all the important points to keep in mind when engaging in communication in your relationships. Click the button below to get access to my Relationship Communication Guide and start improving your relationship communication today!
Relationship Communication Online Workshop
I have created an online Relationship Communication Workshop to help you dig into the communication struggles in your relationship and start getting things back on track. I realize that not everyone wants to go through long term therapy or the process of getting to a therapy appointment may not fit into your busy schedule. That's why I created this course. I wanted to provide you with a way to get access to the tools my clients get from me in my practice, but you can access the material from the comfort of your own home or wherever you are.
What's Included?
You will get access to a series of videos, activities and worksheets that are designed to help you dig into the various aspects of relationship communication.
We will talk about The 5 Love Languages, The 4 Tendencies, The 4 Agreements and so much more.
I'll provide you with actionable steps you can take to implement these tools into your relationships.
The Relationship Communication Online Video Workshop is now live online. Click the button below to get access and start improving your relationship today!
Here’s the link to get more information about the workshop. You can also find it and all my courses and variety of services on my Work with Me page. I am so excited to have you take part in this course!
1:1 Coaching Appointments Now Available
I am now offering a 1:1 coaching sessions. If you would like to set up a 1:1 coaching video session to help you through this time, you can click here.
You get to decide how many minutes you’d like to purchase worth of coaching. Then, I’ll reach out to you in order to make the determination of how you’d like to use your time. We will decide how to split up your time in 30 minute increments up to the total amount you select.
Also, notice that the more time you purchase upfront, the more you save!
You can always reach me directly through my email lindsay@lindsaywalden.com if you have any questions or if you want to know if this is a good fit for you.
Coach Crate
I cannot speak highly enough about Coach Crate. This monthly subscription service has helped me stay regular with my own self-care in so many ways, and I would love to have you join me on the Coach Crate adventure. It would make a great addition to the other work you are doing to live your best life.
February is all about Happiness and figuring out how to develop more of it into your life. You can sign up with my link, and you’ll get to start on the Coach Crate journey. You can save money on your first order by using the code FIRSTBOX at checkout! I stalk my mailbox waiting it to arrive each month, and I know you’ll love it as much as I do!
Therapy Thoughts with Lindsay Podcast
Each new podcast episode is uploaded to my Therapy Thoughts Podcast Blog on the website Thursday afternoons at 2:00pm CST, and then it is shared to all the podcasting sites from there. It is also available on the Apple iTunes podcast site. You can subscribe, so you will never miss an episode!
If you want to check out last week’s Episode 25, here is the link.
I really am so grateful to all of you for your continued support, and I hope you’ll tune in this Thursday for Episode 26. Remember to make sure that you are following all my social media platforms so will know when each new episode is available. And, make sure you subscribe to my YouTube channel, so you will be able to watch the episodes once we start recording them on video as well as audio! We are so close to having the episodes available on video!!!
Follow Me On Social Media
You can follow me all over social media for more life and relationship tips.
I can be found on Facebook where I do many live streams as well as post during the week.
I can be followed on Instagram and in addition to posts on my fee, I am always in my stories posting help tips, tricks and ideas.
I’m on Pinterest throughout the day posting tons of life and relationship tips!
I’ve recently started using TikTok where I post helpful videos in 60 seconds or less with info you can apply to your life immediately.
