Relationship Communication & The 4 Agreements: Don't Take Things Personally

Relationship Communication Guide

Looking for a way to kick start your relationship communication? I would love for you to download my FREE Relationship Communication Guide with relationship tips, suggestions and activities you can implement into the communication in your relationship! Click the button below to get access to my Relationship Communication Guide and start improving your relationship communication today!

Relationships turn toxic for many reasons. If you understand what it means to be toxic and learn what it means to live a more authentic life, your relationships start to shift. You will feel happier, less anxious, less frustrated, and more loving and forgiving. Watch the video to learn what it means to not take things personally.

The 4 Agreements

I wrote this recent post, where I introduced you to Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The 4 Agreements. Not only do I try to live by these agreements in my personal life, I use them in my practice to help my clients stay on the right track or reset when needed. They are simple agreements to make, but they are not necessarily easy to keep. These agreements are not meant to be used as a way to judge one another or hold each other emotionally hostage, but rather they are intended to help create a foundation for success with yourself and in your relationships.

Below is the video I did on the overview to give you more detail:

What are The 4 Agreements?

In case you missed my post where I introduced The 4 Agreements, I have listed them for you below. My last post was on the 1st agreement, Be Impeccable with Your Word, and in this post, I will be explaining more about the 2nd agreement, Don’t Take Things Personally. I will address the 3rd and 4th in the next few weeks in order to give you a better understanding of how to implement each one into your life.

• Be Impeccable with Your Word

• Don’t Take Things Personally

• Don’t Make Assumptions

• Always Do Your Best

If you would like an even deeper dive into this whole concept, you can purchase the The 4 Agreements book, and there is also a 3-book boxed set available that digs even deeper into the agreements and also offers insight into the 5th agreement. I’m sure I’ll end up writing a post about the 5th agreement too, so stay tuned for that!

***This post contains affiliate links, and I may receive a very small commission if you purchase through those links at no additional cost to you. Thank you for helping me out.***

Be Impeccable with Your Word

The first agreement was the topic of last week’s blog. I have attached the video below in case you missed it:

Check out Lindsay Walden's video where she explains what the Second Agreement is and how it applies to your life. You will walk away lighter, positive, optimistic, and ready to cultivate a loving and accepting relationship with yourself and others.

Don’t Take Things Personally

In the following video, I dig into the second agreement and give you some suggestions of how you can start applying it to your life today!

• Nothing others do is because of you

  • This can be so hard to remember sometimes… What would it be like for you to adopt this into your life?

  • Taking things personally not only hurts your relationships with others but it also hurts your relationship with yourself. It is a lot of responsibility to assume you have to manage everything that everyone in your life does.

• What others say and do is a projection of their own reality

  • This goes in line with the previous point, and it’s helpful to remember that it is true in both directions. This means that what you say and do is a projection of your own reality too.

  • So often in communication with others, we feel attacked which leads to us feeling like we need to react and be defensive. How would it change your interpersonal relationships if you were to pause and remember that what others do and say is a projection of themselves?

  • Lindsay’s tip: Download my FREE Relationship Communication Guide, because I walk you through the steps of learning how to pause and respond versus just reacting emotionally.

• When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering

  • Rather than absorbing what someone else throws at you, I would encourage you to be a mirror.

  • This is where the concept of empathy comes into play also. Imagine what they must be going through in their life.

  • This is not encouraging you to give someone an excuse to treat you badly, but rather to remember that what they do and say is a reflection of their own stuff.

It's not about you. It has nothing to do with you. When you not only understand the second agreement of The Four Agreements but also embrace it, your life will dramatically change for the better. Lindsay Walden shows you how in her latest video.

Relationship Communication Workshop Updates

I have created an online Relationship Communication Workshop to help you dig into the communication struggles in your relationship and start getting things back on track. I have had a number of participants submit reviews and suggestions of different lessons that would be a great addition to the workshop. I want this to be as helpful as possible, so I have decided to listen to the feedback and expand the course to include even more relationship guidance.

There is an entire section that will be devoted to understanding even more about the love languages. I will also be providing you with more details into how to manage them in relationships.

I realize that not everyone wants to go through long-term therapy or the process of getting to a therapy appointment may not fit into your busy schedule. That's why I created this course. I wanted to provide you with a way to get access to the tools my clients get from me in my practice, but you can access the material from the comfort of your own home or wherever you are.

Download the FREE Relationship Communication Guide by clicking the button below, and you’ll be the first to know about the relaunch of my Relationship Communication Workshop!!!

1:1 Coaching Appointments Now Available

I am now offering a 1:1 coaching sessions for individuals as well as couples. If you would like to set up a 1:1 coaching video session to help you start working on your relationship, you can click here.

You get to decide how many minutes you’d like to purchase worth of coaching. Then, I’ll reach out to you in order to make the determination of how you’d like to use your time. We will decide how to split up your time in 30-minute increments up to the total amount you select.

Also, notice that the more time you purchase upfront, the more you save!

Follow Me On Social Media

You can follow me all over social media for more life and relationship tips.

• I can be found on Facebook where I do many live streams as well as post during the week.

• I can be followed on Instagram and in addition to posts on my fee, I am always in my stories posting help tips, tricks and ideas.

• I’m on Pinterest throughout the day posting tons of life and relationship tips!

• I’ve recently started using TikTok where I post helpful videos in 60 seconds or less with info you can apply to your life immediately.

• I’ve also recently joined Clubhouse, so if you have an iPhone or and iPad, you can find me on the platform by searching for @lindsay.walden